lazy link

i promise not to start doing this ALL the time but heres a link to Licia's blog about the piñata we made- she took lots of pics and I took none, so her blog is WAY more enjoyable than my potential post about this.... plus, I'm lazy. It was lots and lots of fun :) Not a single kids had a clue why they were hitting the giant pineapple, but they sure went at it 100%. Some kids had handfuls of 5 suckers opened that they were shoving into their mouths after- so cute! Other than that I'm loving life, God and Haiti. Hope everyones having a blessed week!

http://haitirescuecenter.wordpress.com/2009/11/09/4477/

ABC Thankfuls

I wasn't feeling 100% today so I didn't go to church, figured I better rest up before the school week starts up again. I'm holding a sick little baby right now... man I wish everyone in the world could do this and know how it feels. So if you are waiting for an invitation here it is... come to Haiti! Find a mission that looks right for you, fund raise and come! And if you think Haiti is not for you, go to Africa, or Ethiopia, or Mexico... I highly recommend third-world countries for a life-changing experience :) Anyways...

A good friend of mine (understatement of the year) had been putting up her ABC thankfuls on facebook, and I thought it was a cute idea, so I am stealing the idea :) Love you Cynthia!

Today I thank God for:

Amazing Apple Pie that nana promised me over Christmas.

Berlancia's life.

Cynthia Sanchez's friendship.

Dry humor.

Eager students.

Friends and Family back home who are supportive and real.
God's Grace.
Haiti.

Internet access.

Jesus' blood.

Kisses from the most beautiful Kids ever.

Life.

Mango season. MMM

Nickenson.

Optimism.

Pineapple Pinata Parties (which I'll post about later).

Quiet time with God.

Real Diapers on special occasions.

Saturdays, Sundays, Sleep.

Today- for a relaxing day and getting to know new kids.

Undeserved good grades.

Vegetables :)

Water that's clean.

Xylophones? haha, j/k lets just go with family at X-mas.

Yesterday's mistakes, and the lessons they brought.

Zach's new truck that gets us to church on Sundays.

Well, there you go. Hope everyone has a fantastic Sunday, feel free to leave your ABC thankfuls as a comment :)

Green Eggs and Ham (spam)

this morning we made green eggs and ham. It was a blast- we made some for grandpa Zach and all- I'm too lazy to wait for pics to upload so heres a link... I love being able to work for this family!

http://haitirescuecenter.wordpress.com/2009/11/02/green-eggs-and-spam-says-anna-i-am/

:)

Haitians are legit- I wish I could do this...

My teaching techniques may not be ideal all the time but I would like to share with you some that have worked extremely lately. We have problems focusing... lets just say often. One of Henley's wonderful habits is to play with his pencil like its a plane and he drops it about 10 times each hour while playing with it. I'm not exaggerating when I say we got to the point where he spend 10% of his school day laying on his chair looking for his pencil. I told him I didn't care if he dropped his pencil on accident but the playing needed to stop because it wastes too much time. This worked for an hour, then back to playing. As it has been an ongoing problem, I got to the point where I jokingly told him that if he dropped his pencil one more time because he was playing with it I would tie it to his wrist all the way until lunch time, and he would even have to go downstairs and eat with it tied to him. Not more than a minute later he dropped it... so I found a shoestring and tied it to his wrist. He got made fun of by his brothers... peer pressure has power. And guess what... that was last Tuesday and he hasn't dropped his pencil more than twice since then. He though it was funny, so we took pictures- I still can't believe it actually worked :)

And Trey, the poor kid has an attention span of 10 seconds. If I can't keep him interested we are doomed. So I decided to make him teacher on Tuesday because he would not listen to what I was telling him to do. And guess what? It was the most productive day with Trey that I've had yet. He had to read me the directions and then I said and wrote the answer, every time making common mistakes that he usually would make and he always corrected me perfectly! When he taught me how to read, I said every word he wouldn't know wrong on purpose and he helped me sound them out. Making him sound out a word that he thinks he can't read is like pulling teeth, but for some reason it was more fun when i "didn't know" how to. This is him telling me to focus when I started to play with my pencil... haha :)

And Mr. Carmelo is a punk- loves to pretend like he doesn't know anything and see if he can get me to make his school easier. So I had a pop-wow with Licia (his mom) to figure out what he should/shouldn't know and I make him do push-ups if he tells me he doesn't know how to do something that he does. And we've already made progress- amazing how much progress you can make with a threat of 5 push-ups!

I'm having a blast figuring out the whole teacher thing and getting to know these 3 kids so well- they're awesome!

Somehow last week flew by even though I had pink eye which gave me constant headaches- . ALL day Saturday (and I mean since 8 in the morning until 6pm I worked on my midterm that was due. That was fun! (sarcasm) But since Nickenson is somewhat high maintenance, and I refuse to do schoolwork without a kid in my lap, it gave me the opportunity to spend the whole day with a little girl named Love Babie. Yes you read that right... her twin sister's name is Babie Love. Oh Haiti... anyways. She's malnourished and her skin looks like a dinosaur's skin, and she has a cough that makes her puke when she eats, but other than that shes the happiest kid ever: (not in this pic... but its the only one i took)

So after I finished I went to eat dinner, and remembered I had missed the weekly weigh-ins I usually help Licia with for the kids on the Medika Mamba program.... too bad because I probably would have made a fool of myself in front of all the staff here jumping up and down, like I did in private upstairs when Licia told me Nickenson gained over a pound in this last week!!!!!! AHHH life is good. He was 9.8 last week and hit the scale at 10.10 Saturday! (Keep in mind he's 10 months old, so we still have a LONG way to go) but finally we're turned in the right direction!! Stuffing his face:

Keep posted for the next post aka: this mornings events... hint- Green Eggs and Spam :)

Another gone home...

A little baby died tonight… Gilderson. I noticed him the first day I got here but didn’t spent much time with him. Every time I went to get him to spend time with him I got distracted by a crying kid, and then Nickenson came in and took most of my free time. I don’t know why God protected my heart this way- I can’t count how many times I almost picked him up and took him to my room. He was doing extremely well (another reason why I took other kids before him to work with); he had come in severely malnourished but after being here for three months was doing amazing. Yesterday he got a high fever and today they sent him to the hospital, which sent him back. He died about 2 hours ago. Not an hour before I was holding his hand and singing with Nickenson in my lap… I watched as Lori prepared him for burial. That was a first for me… I wrote this just thinking about this boy specifically but also all the kids around the world who die or suffer from preventable or unknown causes.... some of it refers to Berlancia, Tex-naider, Sabrina, and the list goes on… Some of the descriptions are of kids who came in and we thought they’d die and they havn’t… like Nickenson.

The world he has lived in is nothing like mine. Love and grace- replaced by emptiness and fear. Hunger is a perpetual pain… every day’s a battle. His eyes are empty, no hope to show- what is hope? He doesn’t even long for the world I’m in. He’s never seen it, so it doesn’t exist. He doesn’t understand why I daze down at him, why I sing to him, why I do anything I can to get him to eat, and why I hold him close; he is still and won’t make movement, no life. Finally a glance my way, have I reached him? No… I moved my eyes and he didn’t follow. This child, can’t be more than a couple years old, what must he have gone through to be this way… his loose and wrinkled discolored skin, hangs over his bones; they jut out, revealing his fragile frame. His patchy hair is discolored and frail. In his palm, he clings to a lock of hair that he ripped off his head. His hands clenched tightly, reek of rotten skin. The cloth tied around his tiny waste slips off and exposes the yellow diarrhea he sits in daily. Why this child, why any child?

He cries out of discomfort when I touch him. His irritated squeal pleads for me to leave him be; his body stiffens, begging to be put down… but I refuse, I won’t give up, he’s captured my heart. I know there’s a soul in there somewhere. Behind the neglect, the hunger, the sadness… behind the empty stare, the emotion free face- I know there is a boy. I know with work, and help from God one day he could see that the world can be different, a place for love, for hope, for happiness, for learning. But my will to bring out that boy has come too late, and it must not have been part of God’s plan.

A harsh and empty world was all he knew; I held him for an insignificant amount of time- held him tight and prayed. That’s all I could give, that’s all time gave me. One more point awarded to the silent epidemic- an unfair battle, another life ended before it began. AIDS. Malnourishment. Abuse. Poverty. Burns. Neglect. Disease. Unknown. The endless list of preventable COD’s intimidates me. Is there even a chance for hope? His life became part of a growing statistic; yet through it all, I know God was there. Now he is in the perfect place, the place where there is nothing that can hurt him. In heaven I know he is that boy. A joyful, healthy, smiling, beautiful boy… he’s loved. But still my heart yearns for him back; a chance to give him what he never had. In a life here on earth, what could he have been? A man- honest and humble and true, I’ll never know. God’s timing is a constant struggle for me. Why then… why him? Yet truly believe through searching deep, every day’s hardship has some sort of silver lining- even if a rusted silver. With every child I’ve loved, comes a lesson to cherish- and he is no different. I’ll strive each day to do what I was made to do; to love and be a light unto others as best as I can- And leave God to the rest...

Life here is a roller coaster, and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. I'm happy he's no longer in pain, and I'm so thankful for all the kids that RHFH has been able to save and give the world to. Whatever he died from could have easily killed him in the states too, we'll never know; but I do know that for 3 months this kid was loved, fed, and shown God's grace under the care of the staff here at the rescue center- praise God for that.

Misconceptions

It's been a good and busy week, I'll be ready for the weekend to come. We got TONS of donations yesterday but it's too long of a story for me to have the patience to write, so once Licia writes about it on her blog I'll post a link :)

Nickenson's doing the same... hoping when we weigh him next he'll not have lost weight again...

This is a conversation I had with a thirteen year old girl last night… her name is Ilene (pronounced ee-lehn). She comes to the clinic once a month to pick up meds for her skin condition and school supplies. She lives far away so she comes to spend the night so she can get in line early the next morning. I am writing it just as we spoke it, broken and simple since it was in Creole, and I’m still not perfect…

Ilene: Hi! Remember me? (hugs me) I love you!!!

Me: Of course! How are you?

Ilene: hungry. Give me food.

Me: Did you come in time for dinner?

Ilene: No. My stomach hurts

Me: You know that if you don’t come for dinner that the food will be gone.

Ilene: I know, but I had school. I’m hungry. Is your stomach full?

Me: (feeling somewhat bad) yes.

Ilene: Give me clothes

Me: I don’t have any to give you.

Ilene: I only have these (she pulls on her shirt and skirt)

Me: That’s good you have those! Who gave them to you?

Ilene: Licia… Where’s your baby? (Referring to Nickenson)

Me: He’s not my baby, he’s sleeping.

Ilene: He’s not yours?! Do you love him?

Me: Yes.

Ilene: Then why don’t you take him?

Me: I don’t want him.

Ilene: (shocked by my blunt answer) Why?

Me: I am 20 years old, don’t have a house or money to buy milk for him. I can’t pay for him to go to school and I don’t have clothes or shoes to give him.

Ilene: What about your mom? Can she give you clothes to give him?

Me: But then she would be his mom and not me! I can’t take care of a kid, so I do not want a kid.

Ilene: (obviously never having heard this perspective before) But you love him!

Me: I love all these kids but I don’t want 75 kids! I love you but I am not your mom…

Ilene: laughter. (with at least some understanding) Ohhh. Ok then, he is not yours. Please come sit and talk with me over there.

Me: OK

Ilene: (beginning to braid my hair) Your hair is pretty.

Me: Yours too! Who braided it?

Ilene: Some lady, it’s not pretty though. I want your hair.

Me: But my hair won’t even stick! (referring to how their hair stays exactly where they put it).

Ilene: But it’s long and ‘cheve blan’! (white peoples hair) Black people’s hair is ugly.

Me: NO! I think it’s beautiful, I think it’s even better than mine.

Ilene: I think white people are pretty.

Me: Me too. I think black people are pretty too.

Ilene: hmm… (as if she had never thought of the concept of more than one race being pretty)

Me: Do you have any sisters or brothers?

Ilene: Yes, 3 sisters and 2 brothers (then she went off to name every person in her family including aunts, uncles grandparents etc.) Do you have any?

Me: one sister, one brother.

Ilene: That’s all!!! Wow, do you have food where you are from?

Me: Yes. We eat some different kinds of food.

Ilene: When you are where you are from, is your stomach full?

Me: Yes.

Ilene: Do you love Haiti?

Me: So much, Haiti is like my home.

Ilene: Why? Haiti is so bad and the US is so good.

Me: Why do you think that?

Ilene: I’ve seen it on TV.

Me: Have you ever seen Haiti on TV?

Ilene: Yes…

Me: What does Haiti look like on TV? What do the TV people look like?

Ilene: Well, good and pretty and the people on TV are pretty and have clothes and eat.

Me: Do they show your home on TV? Or your neighbors homes?

Ilene: (laughing) nooo… just the pretty people’s homes.

Me: Same with the U.S. All they show on the TV is the good things, just like all they show about Haiti are the good things.

Ilene: There are bad things at your home?

Me: Of course! There are bad things in every place. Good things and bad things, just different good things and bad things.

Ilene: Oh….

… and the conversation went on and on.

The sentences exchanged between Ilene and I were so simple, yet in my opinion SO loaded. I hate that some Haitians have been taught that the US is "better" than Haiti. What I'm about to describe is hard for me to describe logically and get out how I want it to sound- so hang with me as I try ;)

…In America there are girls who would KILL to be as stunning as Ilene- Long, skinny, toned, dark or tanned, beautiful eyelashes, ethnic looking. In Haiti girls long to be curvy, light-skinned, long straight hair, blue or green eyes. Why is it that our world can’t just get to a place of gratefulness with the cards God dealt us?

And WHYYYY does everyone (including Haitians who have NEVER been to the US) think the US is so stinking amazing??? I don’t understand! Yes, there is an abundance of resources. Yes- there are many opportunities. Yes- things are more equal legally. Yes. There are great things about the US. There is amazing medical technology… But that says NOTHING about the quality of life of individuals there… just compare suicide rates for Haiti and the US. Maybe sometimes the things we find great on paper don’t quite measure up after all. Maybe life is simpler than we make it in the US. Maybe our quality of life is how we make it, and the worse we start out, the easier it is to find hope to improve. Maybe...

One thing that REALLY bugs me is when people talk about how those poor children finally get to get out of Haiti, and go to a better place and get a real family. How awful it is that they come from the poverty-stricken, lost island of Haiti. Haiti is the most beautiful place I have ever been. The land itself, and the people- inside and out. The people here (with some exceptions- just as their are exceptions in the US) love their kids so much and do everything possible to cover their needs. Many of them just can't. Many in the U.S. don't either- especially when it comes to emotional needs. Many of my friends growing up didn't have good role models; or had parents who gave them everything in the world except for time. Yes, there is major corruption in Haiti and major poverty and a major lack of education. But how I see it America has major consumption/economic problems, major rising mental health issues, and major ignorance issues.

My point is not to bash either the US or Haiti, I just think too many people see third-world countries as miserable places, and places like the US as this land of Gold; and in my opinion that’s not the case at all. There’s more hope, joy, fellowship, REAL friendships, happiness here than I could have ever imagined. And the families here are T.I.G.H.T. And best of all, people are real. I mean if they don’t like you, they tell you. They mean what they say and they say what they mean. If they like you, they tell you; and if they say they love you they will do ANYTHING for you. I have no doubt that some of the friends I have made on the streets of Haiti would do anything in their power to help me if I needed help. There are problems everywhere in the world, some are just a bit more hidden. Haiti's problems are out in the open- ribs popping out of a kid are harder to cover up than a dysfunctional family. I just think it's important for me to say this because often I will tell the stories of the bad stuff: the hurting, the starving, the bleeding, the neglected. But I don't want people to think that is what makes Haiti. The hope that Haitians have for their future is what I see in Haiti, and I praise God for all the GOOD he blesses Haiti with.

Time flies when you're having fun!

Another weeks gone by and time seems to disappear here. There’s always some need to be filled here, and I think that’s why time goes so quick. No matter how hard or fast you work to get stuff done, at the end of the day you wish you could have accomplished more. Licia and Lori are two of the hardest workers I have ever met. They go through more emotions in a week than some people do in a lifetime. Witnessing parents laughing as their children are dying, holding that child and not having time to process the death of the 2 year old whose body lies lifeless, emaciated, in your hands as the next patient is bleeding profusely from a severe motorcycle accident. Having to fire a staff member who steals or doesn’t do their job while they plead that their whole family is going to die because of you taking away their income. Waking up early to get office hours in before clinic and going to bed late knowing they will do the same the next day. Trying to teach a Haitian mother that instead of selling her chicken’s eggs to buy rice for her kids, the eggs would be more nourishment for her children, only to see her a month later asking you to take in her swollen kids with kwash and feed them. Educating people about STDs and telling them that they have HIV; and them not believing or understanding and they come back after they got pregnant and had a baby who obviously tests HIV+. Experiencing the joy of an orphan finally going to their adoptive home but grieving because that child has been in your home for 2 years and knows you as mommy. Being discouraged by the never-ending line of sick, injured, diseased people; yet praising God for all he allows them to do to help. Their lives aren’t easy and their perseverance is inspiring. Truly.

I love everything I get to do here. I was teaching the boys about the body- organs and veins etc and telling them that blood was blue. They didn’t believe me until I showed them my veins (you can’t really see on a black-skinned person). They were so cute “Wait until we tell mommy, she won’t believe us!” screams Trey. He often goes to mom telling her what he learns, thinking he’ll change her life with his new-found knowledge. It’s fun to teach such an enthusiastic learner. We traced their bodies and every day I make a new organ for them to glue on themselves and we learn about it. We went on a 7 mile hike Friday and it was amazing. I love the walks we go on… narrow paths through corn farms and friendly communities in between wide gravel roads, often muddy, peacefully quiet- besides the boys and a couple donkeys, stunning mountains and ocean views, often pink, orange, yellow, stunning sunsets, and friendly people passing once in a while; some on donkeys or horses, some driving tractors, some walking. I love Haiti.

My online English class is the hardest thing about my current life. I’ve always had an easy time with English courses and never gotten less than an A- this might just kill that. It’s an argumentative essay course and killing me. The formats my prof assigns are just plain odd, and hard to follow and boring and hard to find motivation for; plus the internet time I have is hard to spend researching and writing when I’d rather be emailing or facebooking friends. It’s hard to focus on writing an essay that I don’t care about when I have Nickenson, or the boys downstairs are calling me to play soccer. The boys in the rescue center are SO great and besides Nickenson they consume most of my free time. J Soccer is their favorite thing for me to join them in, and I can’t say that I’m as good as them, but I’m definitely improving and having fun doing it!

Nickenson has lost a pound... we took him off the medika mamba program thinking his uking might be intolerance to the peanut butter- pray it helps! I am with him SOOO much and its discouraging that he lost more than 10% of his weight in a week... but his smiles keep me going. If he continues to lose I'll take him at night and try to get some extra calories in him. The rescue center admitted 2 new kwash kids- a boy and a girl. The little girl (about 4 yrs old) refuses to eat and they had to put a feeding tube in her and she kept ripping it out, so her hands are in socks, taped and pinned to her shorts. She won't make eye contact and sits groaning all day long... hopefully the food shes getting through the tube will help her have more life. The boy (about 6 yrs old) is so swollen that he can barely stand. His privates are the size of a baseball and yet he smiles bigger than any kid in the place. He says please and thank you and when I was feeding him tonight he said he didn't want to eat; but after I told him it would make him feel better and it was good for him he smiled and forced himself to finish. I can't express how blessed I am to get to be around these kids :)